Conversation With A Five-Year-Old

"Guess where I got this, Grandma."

She holds up a toy bulldog she has taken from a little plastic toy dog carrier.

I'm stymied, but I play along.

"WalMart," I guess.

"No. Guess again."

"Target."

"No. It wasn't that kind of store." She opens and closes the plastic carrier door.

I try a different tack.

"You got him from the SPCA -- the dog pound."

"Grandma," she explains carefully, as if I were a two-year-old, "this is a fake dog."

"OK," I counter. "So you got him from the fake dog pound."

She stops and I can see her processing that thought. She looks up quizzically.

"Do they have fake dog pounds?" she asks in all seriousness.

Kids. Gotta love them.

P.S. Turns out she acquired the dog -- a Georgia bulldog -- when they were on vacation in northern Georgia. "At a store near the cabin."

Fit as a Fiddle?

No, I don't really use 10-lb. weights -- those are courtesy of Lee. I use 4-lb-ers . . . but they don't look as impressive in a photo.

See that logo? "Jazzercize Fit Club."

That top is my reward for having Jazzercized my little -- OK, not so little -- buns at least 150 times since January 1.

More than three times a week, which was my goal.

I started J-cizing almost three years ago and lost about twenty pounds and almost two pant sizes. I've regained ten of the pounds, but am still wearing the smaller size. Not quite as loose, but hey.

The main thing is that I can sit at the computer most of the rest of the day without my legs going on strike and walking out on unfinished work.

Who knew being a writer meant having to negotiate with one's own body parts? My legs' contract stipulates a workout 3-4 times a week and a walk on alternate days, my eyes get periodic breaks from the computer screen (they've also demanded an increased 'Zoom' ratio lately), and one arm sometimes throws a hissy fit until I slip on one sleeve of a flannel shirt . . . think of a blanket thrown over a race horse so it doesn't catch a chill.

Ah well. Things are tough all over, right?

In any case -- anyone out there looking for a good workout? Jazzercize combines aerobics, yoga, Pilates, kickboxing, and free weights and an hour of Contemporary Culture 101, as it's all choreographed to (mostly) pop music.

So maybe I'm not quite fit as a fiddle -- maybe a cello?